unspoken dispute

  I have an unspoken dispute with my sister in-law. Yes, it was weird, because I use to have a long patience and understanding towards her. But it's very typical of me to just suddenly snap out. And I'm still in the process of learning angry management. So, just like a time bomb, I suddenly exploded.
I don't really have any reason to hate her, but I still need to talk to myself over and over again, that I have to be nice to her and win her affection (just to avoid this kind of dispute). But I don't know why I have this kind of feeling towards her. Maybe because, all this years I still felt like an intruder to her, that I don't belong to her circle of family. Her feeling is radiating back to me and its slowly hurting me, big time. (Don’t ask me how; I just have this kind of knowing feeling).
   At first I thought it was just natural, to have an awkward feelings with them. Because we don't have the typical getting to know each other scenario, we just suddenly have to like each other.
But after all this years and still the feeling never changes, is not in anyway normal. I don't think I'll still accept the same story or same excuses anymore. I'd sacrifice enough and I'm also tired of pleasing everybody, especially them.

   Maybe what triggers me to snap this bad is her attitude (her mom as well). I don't really mind a little attitude, I'm use of having spoiled brats around, my niece and nephew is enough for a practice. And besides, I don't believe it's a spoiled brat attitude anyway. (I have all the right description to be called spoiled brat than her)
   The day that I snapped, my husband and her mom had an argument. A never ending argument, it’s a clash on their attitude. Luckily, it’s the time of the month, where I had abnormal hormones and had a bad tempered at the same time, just in the right time. So while my husband irritated me of his ranting about his mom, he suddenly said his sister is as well angry with her. Just like that, i lose my temper. What’s her problem? After asking for his brother for a load allowance, she just gets mad? And who gives her right to just talk back like that. Manners? (I doubt that she had one). Usually I don’t care about their ‘siblings rival, but this suddenly becomes another matter. So, I ended up blabbing my hatred to a social networking site. And guess what, she ranted back as if she accepts all the things I said. Just like that, our unspoken dispute started.
   Now, that the intense of my anger had subsided. I never felt guilty of what I did (usually, I feel guilty). Serves her right then, it's about time to place herself where she belong. I don’t have to pretend that everything is fine, besides its not a big lost to me if we just suddenly stop talking.

   And I’ve decided to stop being too nice them. Slash those gifts, slash those free loads and slash those pretenses. It will save me big money anyway.

    Sometimes, you have to show them your bad sides. And make them decide if they like you or not. Maybe this will change everything, but I don't care, maybe the time had come, to just walk away and live my life with people who deserve to be part of it.

   Stop pleasing others cause in the end, you will just hurt yourself. For now, I’m happy being likes this, besides I just unloaded myself of those responsibilities that doesn’t belong to me.