Little Daja and the pink pillows

   Few years ago, my grandma made pillows for my baby when she's still an infant. Little did I know that these pillows will be going to be a big part of my daughter’s life.

   The color of these pillows are baby pink. There are two of them and just big enough for an infant baby.

When little Daja turns one year old, she start calling these pillows as baby. In those times I realize that these pillows are always at her side. She plays with it and always holds both in her hands. She cuddles them to sleep and she hugs them when she is in pain. These pillows become her comfort zone.

   She never leaves them and she hates it a lot when we sneak these pillows and wash them. She hates the smell of soap on her baby and she always has a way to put back the smell on it. I caught her one time spilling her milk all over her new wash pillows. She uses it to wipe herself until the smell turns back to the way she likes it. Then she will cuddle it again like they never seen each other for a long time.

   My grandma made a lot of pillowcases for it, a white one, a pink one and a floral one, but little Daja doesn't like her pillows having a case on it. Sometimes she will agree but after an hour or two, she will remove it again. These pillows became her best friends.

I remember one time when little Daja was confined in the hospital, when the nurses and the doctor are checking her up, she was looking for her baby. She hugs them when a needle was pinned on her. It’s like everything is fine as long as these pillows are right beside her.At night, she will hold the tip of her pillow and tickle her nose with it. Other times she sucks the edge of it. The more dirty it gets, the better it is.

Now that she's turning three years old, she still had that same love for these pillows. But now, she already leave the pillows at home when she knows we are just going to the mall. She will hug and kiss it and tell it, goodbye and see you.

I'm still wondering when will the time come when she's going to let these pillows go. But for now, I am happy to know that Daja have a friend in those pillows. The time will come that she will forget everything about these pillows. But I will be here and remind her that she got best friends on those pink pillows.

unspoken dispute

  I have an unspoken dispute with my sister in-law. Yes, it was weird, because I use to have a long patience and understanding towards her. But it's very typical of me to just suddenly snap out. And I'm still in the process of learning angry management. So, just like a time bomb, I suddenly exploded.
I don't really have any reason to hate her, but I still need to talk to myself over and over again, that I have to be nice to her and win her affection (just to avoid this kind of dispute). But I don't know why I have this kind of feeling towards her. Maybe because, all this years I still felt like an intruder to her, that I don't belong to her circle of family. Her feeling is radiating back to me and its slowly hurting me, big time. (Don’t ask me how; I just have this kind of knowing feeling).
   At first I thought it was just natural, to have an awkward feelings with them. Because we don't have the typical getting to know each other scenario, we just suddenly have to like each other.
But after all this years and still the feeling never changes, is not in anyway normal. I don't think I'll still accept the same story or same excuses anymore. I'd sacrifice enough and I'm also tired of pleasing everybody, especially them.

   Maybe what triggers me to snap this bad is her attitude (her mom as well). I don't really mind a little attitude, I'm use of having spoiled brats around, my niece and nephew is enough for a practice. And besides, I don't believe it's a spoiled brat attitude anyway. (I have all the right description to be called spoiled brat than her)
   The day that I snapped, my husband and her mom had an argument. A never ending argument, it’s a clash on their attitude. Luckily, it’s the time of the month, where I had abnormal hormones and had a bad tempered at the same time, just in the right time. So while my husband irritated me of his ranting about his mom, he suddenly said his sister is as well angry with her. Just like that, i lose my temper. What’s her problem? After asking for his brother for a load allowance, she just gets mad? And who gives her right to just talk back like that. Manners? (I doubt that she had one). Usually I don’t care about their ‘siblings rival, but this suddenly becomes another matter. So, I ended up blabbing my hatred to a social networking site. And guess what, she ranted back as if she accepts all the things I said. Just like that, our unspoken dispute started.
   Now, that the intense of my anger had subsided. I never felt guilty of what I did (usually, I feel guilty). Serves her right then, it's about time to place herself where she belong. I don’t have to pretend that everything is fine, besides its not a big lost to me if we just suddenly stop talking.

   And I’ve decided to stop being too nice them. Slash those gifts, slash those free loads and slash those pretenses. It will save me big money anyway.

    Sometimes, you have to show them your bad sides. And make them decide if they like you or not. Maybe this will change everything, but I don't care, maybe the time had come, to just walk away and live my life with people who deserve to be part of it.

   Stop pleasing others cause in the end, you will just hurt yourself. For now, I’m happy being likes this, besides I just unloaded myself of those responsibilities that doesn’t belong to me.

Wednesday getaway

      Finally, after long days of work, we (me and my husband) got a day off last Wednesday. We excitedly pack our bags; it was a long day for us. We both agreed to leave Daja (our daughter) behind. We hated the idea, but it will be more convenient.

 Thinking of going back to a place we called home really drives my adrenaline big time. Naga City, the place where we spend college, the place where we met and the place we both anticipated visiting for a long time.

   Its two hours away from my hometown and one hour away for my husband’s hometown. Since we live here in Legaspi (my hometown), we both have to endure two hours of journey, we never even closed our eyes the entire time. When we reach the place we both felt different feelings. It was a mixture of joy, sadness and nostalgia. The place was not like it used to be, many new establishment had risen, many stuffs had change, but it is still the same Naga that welcomed us, few years ago. I am still longing for that place; I think it will never even change anymore.

  Unfortunately, it was unplanned journey, so our friends don’t really knew we are going for a visit. They have their own business to attend to. So we end up, spending the entire time on our own, just like the old times, just like a college sweethearts.

     Our first destination was the mall; it is located just near the terminal, where the shuttle van stops. Since it is almost lunch time, we decided to stroll around the mall and spend lunch there. We bought some stuffs as pasalubong for my daughter, still guilty of leaving her behind. We purchase some clothes for her (Since she's growing fast, her clothes shrink so fast) and some hair clips. 

   Then we found some sale stuffs at the home department, since I was searching for a nice curtain, we accidentally found some there. We also bought a shower curtain and some pillowcases. We spend already beyond our limit (not good). So we just convince ourselves that the mall was on sale, so we just grab the opportunity, right? (Really the mall was on sale). On our way out, I saw petty, one of the cartoon character my daughter are really fond of, but we look for the other characters, but it was already sold out. Too bad, little daja would be so happy having a pororo of her own.

   We already felt hungry and since it was pass 1pm already we decide to eat our lunch. We dine at the Tribo grill, just inside the mall perimeter. We first planned to eat at Molino grill, but it was too full already, our stomach cannot endure waiting. My husband wanted to invite her sister to a lunch with us, since her sister was taking college at the university at the city, but I think he got the idea, that I have an unspoken dispute with her sister. (I'm going to rant about it sometimes; it's already in my list). So he decided to forget the idea and we eat our lunch.

   Minutes later, after we are done eating, one of our best friend, Mark, showed up. He had one hour of lunch break from work, so he decided to show up for a few minutes. So, while he helps my husband look for a shirt or whatever stuff he is looking, I stroll around the bookstore, looking for something to buy for myself. But my husband pressures me, so I didn’t have time to search for the perfect book.

  

 We end up buying himself two shirts (a preparation for his review class) and I bought myself a loafer and a bag (every women needs one). We never shop that much, so I felt a pang of guilt when we calculated everything. I never spend that much for a shopping spree. I felt sad actually, but my husband convinces me that it was only once a year incident, it doesn't happen all the time. It was enough to convince me and be happy again.

   So we are tired and broke and we have nowhere to go. We have an option of going home already, stroll more (not good for me, we're going to end up spending more) and visit some relatives. I had an option of visiting a friend of mine. She adopted me as her sister when I was still living in the city. But she was not replying my text nor answering my call. Though later she did replied, but I was not in the mood of going there already.

 We ended up surprising his uncle. So we spend our time there, drinking up some beer. While they are having their uncle-nephew talk, I'm having fun guzzling the pork barbecue. The time fly so fast, it was already dark when we realize we have to go home. They drop us at the terminal and we catch some little time to buy some burger at kfc for the family.

  It was already eight in the evening, when we boarded. 2hours back home, back again to the real world. Before I close my eyes to take a nap, I bid farewell to it, goodbye for now, Naga, but we will be back soon. There are still more memories to cherish and collect.

paalam sayo Sec. Jose Robredo

babysitter

I am having a difficulty leaving my daughter, daja, especially when I'm off to work. But in order to sustain our daily needs I have to leave her to a yaya.

Unfortunately yaya now a day is not that much dedicated to their jobs. Because of influence of technology, a lot of them don't do their jobs well. We search and scan the entire area for a suitable yaya and housekeeper, but they don't stay longer and some, get stubborn in the end.
My grandmother who is 77(I think) offer her service to be my toddler's sitter. I was overwhelmed by her enthusiasm, but I was worried because she's not getting any younger. But I accepted her help, at least for awhile, until I found a suitable one.

But my qualms were washed away instantly. My grandma was still good at baby sitting. Even though she lives alone and she doesn't have a helper. She did her job better than anybody else I've known.

I never came home in early afternoon and found my daughter in her pajamas, in a mushy diapers and sweating. She’s chubbier now because my grandma never forgets to feed her. She taught daja how to eat (she doesn't really eat, except for chips and chocolate). She always remembers daja's vitamins. She never forgets to bath her, (yes, previous yaya neglect doing that) and she never bans my daja to play with her favorite figurines even when it gets smash at the end.

Now, I prefer leaving daja to her, even when we already found a yaya. I have more confidence in my grandmother now. Her unconditional love, her understanding and her young spirit makes her the best babysitter ever. I owe her a lot. I’m so glad she's here.

Quotes for success

I was scanning my facebook account when my attention was caught by this quotes. Something to ponder and something to share. Learn from it,. like I did.

Quotes for Success
by Warren Buffet

ON EARNING

Never depend on single income. Make an investment to create a second source.

ON SPENDING

If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.

ON SAVINGS:

Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving

ON TAKING RISK:

Never test the depth of the river both the feet.

ON INVESTMENT:

Do not put all eggs in one basket

ON EXPECTATION:

Honesty is very expensive gift.Do not expect it from cheap people.

the pink pill

After giving birth to my daughter, I got a hard time bringing my petite body back. The being not petite is not actually my problem, but all those belly fat that refuses to leave my belly, is the actual problem.

I suffered 2years of looking like 3months pregant. Thanks to all those fish and fruits and chocolates that I consumed through my pregnancy, it made a big dismay result.

I tried the sit ups and it was not a good idea. I tried the slimming coffee that lots of recommendation, but it did me no good either. Even tried the slimming juice, But all the result was a fiasco.
I have one option left, gym. But heck, I'm too stuborn for that.

Just when my hope was slipping, a friend of mine introduce me to a slimming capsule that he was selling. It was by experience that pursue him to sell the pills to his friends. Lucky for me, I was offered to try it.

Then after two weeks of religiously drinking that said pills,I found my tummy shrink, unbelivable but it shrink two inches small. Finally, A dream come true.

But it doesnt felt good when im drinking it. it disturb my sleeping pattern, I really do lost my  appetite. Palpitation and sweating was part of it to. And you have to drink more water just to avoid fainting(kidding).

The side effect of it may vary from person to person.That was mine, I just dont know about the others who tried.



And I dont really recommend it to those people with heart ailment. its a big no.

despite all that side effect, in short time as two weeks, I got my tummy shrink. No gym, no exercise. I recommend it to people close to me, and so far, I dont have a bad feedback on it.

I don't really know its real name, all i know is it made in japan. And i have a good guess that its same as hokaido pills. There content was same though and the repackaging is close to it.

 A miracle in a pink capsule.

A tale to tell

  August of 2009, I remember myself searching for a pet dog. I am a dog lover, and the idea not having one, seems stupid. Since I stop going to college, I had an ample time to take care of it. So I made my decision, I wanted a Labrador, the golden one.
   So the search began, me and my boyfriend (my husband now), search the town for someone who's selling a golden Labrador. After few days, my attention was caught by an ad,
Labrador for sale please contact the number below. 

Labrador for sale please contact the number below.

  I was ecstatic then, we immediately called the number and saw the puppies. There are two of them, a yellow and a brown, 3months old. Unfortunately I left the money and it's getting dark, so we decided to just go back in few days. Since my boyfriend lives an hour away from mine, I have to wait for the day he'll come back (our love story is quite complicated), anticipating every minute of the day.

 In those waiting period, the changes happened. I was feeling sleepy and rubbing my tummy (I was 4 months pregnant) when my dad called me. He asked me, if I wanted a dog, his friend’s dog gave birth and if I wanted to, he'll get me one. It was a Rottweiler.

I wanted a labrador, not a rott. But I said yes, anyway. So, goodbye to labrador for now, hello rottweiler.

  The gigantic puppy came that same day, three months old. I fell in love with her that instance and I named her coco (got it from a male artist named coco martin, he was a heart robe). We treated her like a little baby. She sleeps at my bed; she stays inside our house and bathes with warm water in the bathroom. She plays with my stuff animals, like a little baby, she wants to be hugged.
She used to sleep between my niece and nephew in the bed. She thinks she's human to.

  Two months had passed, an unexpected event happened. She caught the parvo virus, a virus that put an end to almost every dog that catches it. It was a hopeless case, my dad says. But my Coco is striving for survival. There is still hope. I can't just sit and watch her die. I brought her to the pet clinic, where the vet told me the same thing, they cannot do much more, but still I confined my dog to their care. Somehow I have to trust, even my instinct. Before walking out to the clinic, I talked to coco, give her comfort and explain the situation. She was weak, but I knew she understands. I cried so hard, I can't breathe anymore, I was 6month pregnant then. I don't want to let go, thinking; I will never going to see her again. I had hope, but I don't want to grasp to it that tight.

 The next morning, I called the clinic, expecting the worse. But miracles do really happen. And my coco was doing fine already. A shock strike me, my family and as well as to the vet and staff of the clinic. She almost died that instance, but she survived. I went to visit her that. She was thinner, but better. The vet told me that there is a rare case of rot surviving a parvo virus. No rot had survived the virus inside that clinic, except from my coco. Emotional as pregnant as I was, that words put tears in my eyes. I knew it, she wanted to live.
The day she went home from the clinic, she still vomits a little and she doesn't want to eat. All she wants to do is sleep, but the spark in her eyes says, it's good to be home.  Several days pass and she's back to the way she is, giddy and playful. Just the same dog, I fell in love with.

Now, she's already 3years old, a mother of three. The vet called her the survivor; I called her my first baby.

A Pittacus Lore Addiction

 There are nine of them,from the planet lorien, who came to the planet earth. They are sent here to hide and to develop their legacies and when they are ready, they need to find each other to defend their planet and bring it back to life. But their enemies are hunting them down. three of them were killed. six are still in hiding. They need to survive, to bring justice to their own race.
Will they make it?

It all started when I read this book written by an author named pittacus lore.

These books caught me off guard. My madness with vampires suddenly evaporates. And now, I'm wondering if planet lorien do really exist. Enough to drive me back to my insanity.

These books leave me hanging, I really don't know if it was left that way orsomething. It gives me reason to scavenge the internet. I found out that they are two more untold stories (six's legacy and nine's legacy), luckily it was downloadable. I'm done reading it though. And I'm still craving for more.

It made me wonder, who is pittacus lore, I damn adore his (yes I believe he is a male) way of writing and his imagination as well.

According to the World Wide Web, pittacus lore is one of the elder that came from the planet lorien (a planet same as earth, smaller though, somewhere in the outer space) who came on earth 12years ago. Who came here to tell their story? To warn the earthlings about the domination of other species of alien called mongorians.

Sound convincing to me, an author in hiding, cool.

If pittacus lore life is in danger, as same as the life of those in his story, what will happen next? What if he cannot finish the tale of his planet? His book will remain hanging. It will forever create a question somewhere inside me. Who is number 5 and 8? Where are they? Will their cepan make it alive this time? Will they make it back to the planet lorien? What is Ella’s legacy?

Well he is an effective author after all. And I’m still gripping, and still waiting, and I hope they made it, so somehow it's still going to be a happy ending. ;)

my other half

  Two years and eighth months ago, my little angel came to earth. We named her Daphline Jade.

 When I was still in college, few years ago, I made a statement that when I reach the age of 22, I would be happy having a kid of my own, so that I'm still young when she/he grows old. I will be her/his friend.

    I never thought this path will really come true, that when I spoke of it, it was automatically written at the flyleaf of my life.  Eight days before my 23rd birthday, I gave birth to her. Nevertheless, I didn't regret it. It turn my world upside down, it gave me a dream and a reason to strive for more.

   Taming a child is a different thing; you need patience, a lot of it. It became a learning experience to me. Like learning a subject, I’m learning my daughter’s growth, learning her life.

Now she's turning three years old in four months   and it made me think how time flies so fast. As early as now, she can sing the alphabet (perfectly), count the numbers, and identify the colors and shapes as well. She's a singer and dancer. She is perfect blessing given to me.

Soon, she will be in school, she will spend more time with her friends; she will be busy with her little world. She'll grow old and I'm afraid thinking that I can't hug her like I used to. Growing old is somewhat inevitable.

When the time comes that she can go on her way, I just hope she will never forget that I’m her friend, not just her mother. I'm willing to listen to her rantings, wipe her tears and understand her more than any other human can. I will never let go of her if everybody does. I will still love her as much as I do today.

After all, she is my other half.

Time Ticking

It's been ages since I suppress myself to write. I thought I can easily escape the world of writing, but unfortunately, I cannot. Writing is a big deal for me.

Its been an escape from reality, It is an expression of myself. Through writing, I can unload myself of the negative feelings I have. It became a depressant to me. But suddenly, writing became a big load for me; I hate it for a long time, those times where I felt I was lost and uncertain about my life. The time when I don't know where to find myself. Today, I got the courage to rebuild it again, to re built myself again. To express and share myself to the world I once knew. A midst the chaos inside me, I know, I found myself again. And this is the beginning of it. I will try to write again, to share my little self to the world. And I hope this world that once comforted me will still welcome me and listen to me like those old days.