Splendid summer

Summer without splashing to the water is not summer at all. So me and my hubby planned to treat my niece and nephew to a little family escortion. We decided to swim in Buhi for a change, since they haven't been there and it's another opportunity to explore other places.

Buhi is almost two hours Away from home, it's my hubby's hometown. My mother in law already prepared the food for us and I already called the resort for a cottage reservation.

We arrived at my inlaws house at around two pm. We still prepare the things we need to bring and there was a lot of food prepared for us. 

Upon arriving to the resort, my nephew together with his friend, immediately jump to the pool. My daughter together with my sister-in-law swim in the kids pool. While my niece and her friend decided to eat first.

Alice our sibe was there too. She spent most of her time with my eldest sister-in-law. I spent the early hours in the cottage with my mother in law and my husband. I also swim for a few minutes, burnout too long. We intent to stay until the night but due to unavoidable circumstancese have to leave the resort earlier than we expected. So, when it was almost dark, we packed our stuff and went back to my inlaws. 

It was a really short get together but at least everyone had fun. And that's one of the highlights of my boring summer. :)

Alice my furkid

I never planned to purchase a new pet, I already had a Rottweiler named coco and she is enough for me. Actually, I don't even have enough time for her, let alone another pet.

But one of my customer had a sibe (Siberian husky if you don't know what I meAn) and inform my Husband that the girl one gave birth to its litter.

So my husband out of his excitement reserved the only girl. I never thought that he was serious, thinking that I am few weeks pregnant to our second child. But he was serious, and after two months, Alice came home with him.

Siberian husky is very hard after all. They need a lot of care and affection. They are very choosy in their diet and they don't want their food to be always the same. At first we keep her inside our house but later on,my daughter had a terrible asthma attack that made us decide. To keep her outside. It's okay at least our coco keep her company. We used to bring her to the store, but when my tummy got bigger it was not easy for me to carry her in the motorcycle. So keep her in the house with coco.

I still don't have much to tell, after all, Alice is still young, seven months by now. Due to my pregnancy I don't have time for my other kids. Though I hope I could spend more time with them. So I'm looking forward to have a little time with them, besides I'm already due in three months. :)

A gift

After our second big row as a married couple, we are given another blessing, a second baby. Yes, after a few days of tiff and rows I found myself pregnant to our second child. It's due on October and I'm six months pregnant by now.

It is a difficult pregnancy though compared to my first one. Unlike it, I already had a feeling that I am pregnant even before it turns one month. I suffered a lot of hyper acidity, constipation, I vomit non stop and my immune system drops down to zero, leaving me with runny nose, cough and flu. It was not a joke when i say I give up on it. I never experience any of it from the first one. But somehow,I gain strength and surpass it.

Now that it is six months already I don't experience those things anymore but I still don't enjoy some foods like chocolates, ice cream and spicy foods. It was a very complicated journey,now I know what they mean when they say pregnancy is hard.

I had my ultrasound already and I found out that this is a baby boy. I really feel so blessed and lucky that God still give me a baby boy. Now I have a perfect family, the one that I wanted. And I thank God for giving me another chance, another hope and another me to share in this world.

Grieve

I am in a state of rage and grieve and I don't know when will I get out from it. It could take weeks, months but I know days is not enough.  

I have issues with cheating, yes, I have been there in different ways and believe me when I say, it is not the nicest thing on earth.

My ego was hurt the nth time, it will be acceptable if it is from different random people, but unfortunately, it was the same man, the man who is known as my husband.

I personally admit that I have my own inflaws in our relationship, but no matter how big those negligence are, infidelity was not part of it. It never occurred to me to hurt him that way, no matter how I can easily do it and no matter how I despise him, I restrain myself because there is this thing called respect.

But unfortunately, my partner doesn't know what respect means, nor understand what loyalty means and I doubt that he knows what love means. The fact that I'm married to such man hurts big time, I should have known it. But everything happened in a blur, like magic taking its place.

I don't know what god plan is, I'm not willing to defy it anyway. But putting me in this position I demand for an explanation. A simple explanation that will ease the pain, the marks and the scars. A simple explanation that will give me strength to stand up and fight.

Sometimes, scanning the past scars makes me think of every childish thing I have done and consider which of those deserves this kind of punishment.

I have been kind, carefree, I share what I have to those close to me, refrain to hurt others and built my personal charity. I extend my hand to those who needs help, selfishly, I lived with love.

On the other hand,I played love a lot of times, I done cruel act and hurt a lot of people. I cheated life, cheated friendship and accidentally lost the love for my husband.

I'm not a perfect wife nor a perfect mother. I'm not a perfect friend nor a perfect daughter, I'm wounded and lost within me.

But believe me when I say I'm better than half of every human my age but I experience grieve more than the worse had, and I wonder why. I don't know how long I can take this, but one thing I know, I cannot tolerate this anymore, no matter how strong I am, I give up on this.

So whatever the reason o this grieve ness, I would like to know. Somehow, somewhat I'm still hoping for a big change. To fall in love to him again, to have a happy family. And I will always wonder why do bad things happen to good people.

Jan2013

Finally

I'm back! How I miss this! I miss blogging so much. I'll post my stuff soon :)